Carolyn's children: ‘Second mom’ lives her faith by helping others

A mother of eight grown children, Carolyn Mueller was recently honored by Indianapolis television station WFYI as a 2008 Child Care Provider of the Year for the care and love she has given to her “second family” of children for the past 34 years. A member of Christ the King Parish in Indianapolis, Mueller reads a book to 3-year-old Maggie Smith. (Photo by John Shaughnessy)

By John Shaughnessy

Sometimes a good Mother’s Day story can’t wait until May.

Consider the story of Carolyn Mueller, a mother of eight who managed to be active in her parish even as she reared her growing children.

As a young mother and a member of Christ the King Parish in Indianapolis, Mueller was on the parish council and the school’s board of education. She was one of her parish’s original extraordinary ministers of holy Communion, took Communion to the sick and shut-ins, and helped to start the parish group that organizes meals for families after funerals.

Asked how she did it all while caring for eight children, Mueller responded with a laugh, “I was younger then.”

Turning serious, she noted, “That was a part of my faith—doing for others.”

It’s the story of her life, a story that’s captured repeatedly in the poems, photographs and thank-you notes that cover the walls of a room in her home—signs of love and appreciation from her “second family” for the past 34 years:

“I will never forget all that you did for me,” reads one note.

Another framed message compliments her for these traits: “Cooks great meals, always hugs us, one of a kind, loves us. You are the best.”

During those 34 years, Mueller has been a “second mom” to many children on the north side of Indianapolis, opening her home as a daycare center. Recently, she was honored by WFYI-TV in Indianapolis as one of five people chosen as a 2008 Child Care Provider of the Year.

She first opened her home as a daycare so that one of her sons could have a playmate. Then she expanded it when her husband lost his job because the company he worked for closed.

The unexpected layoff was initially a setback for the family, but it also created a situation that changed lives for the better—for Mueller and the children who came to her home.

Just ask Kathleen Roesinger.

She first arrived at Mueller’s door when she was a 2-month-old baby—22 years ago. Mueller cared for her often for five years. And the connection was so tight that through grade school and high school, Roesinger would call Mueller on her days off to see if she needed help with the latest group of small children.

Roesinger also represents the tradition among “Carolyn’s children” who have invited her to their first Communions, birthday parties and graduation celebrations—moments that Mueller has always tried to attend.

“She’s such a loving person,” said Roesinger, a member of St. Pius X Parish in Indianapolis who partly credits Mueller with her decision to become an elementary school teacher.

“I feel like I’m one of her own. I believe she’s had an effect on the person I am today. I feel like she’s done that for all her kids,” Roesinger said. “She’s always been so encouraging at different parts of my life. I visit her at Christmas. I’m getting married in October, and she’s on the invitation list. I consider her as a grandmother.”

Or just ask Paula Smith, who has entrusted her two children to Mueller’s care.

“She’s more than a daycare provider,” said Smith, a member of St. Simon the Apostle Parish in Indianapolis. “She’s a very dear friend and a second mom to many of us. My mom passed away 2 ½ years ago. Carolyn was my shoulder to cry on. She was my strength. She’s just an amazing person who has a heart of gold.”

Sue O’Connor has seen Mueller’s influence by working with her at the daycare center for the past 19 years.

“She’s unbelievable,” said O’Connor, a member of Christ the King Parish. “She had eight kids that she raised and then all these other kids. She tries to give them Christian values. We always say our prayers at lunchtime. She teaches the kids to treat people like you want to be treated. She’s my good friend and a great gal.”

Mueller’s influence on people sticks, just like the nickname a little girl once gave her: “Maw Maw.” It’s an influence from a different time, a different generation.

“I try to teach the fundamentals,” said Mueller, who’s 69. “We let them socialize. We let them play dress-up. We let them be kids. They learn their manners and how to get along with each other—kindness and sharing with each other. They have to have a strong foundation to get through this world. They need to know they are loved.”

Now, after 34 years, Mueller plans to close her home-based daycare center at the end of May. She wants to retire so she can travel with her sisters, spend more time with her 12 grandchildren, and do more things with her husband of 50 years, John. She also wants to volunteer again at Christ the King Parish and the St. Vincent de Paul Society.

“Retiring is going to be bittersweet,” she said. “But I know it’s time. I feel good about that, but I tear up when I think of all the kids and parents.”

She paused and then noted, “You hope you made a difference in a lot of their lives. You hope you were there for them when they needed you. You try to give them a lot of love and hugs. You try to encourage them in a lot of ways. You hope they’ll remember what you did.”

Kathleen Roesinger speaks for a lot of people when she says she’ll always remember Mueller for what she did and who she is.

“I’m grateful to have her in my life and had her take care of me when I was younger,” Roesinger said. “I consider her a blessing.” †