Dr. Ray Guarendi mixes advice with humor at Catholic Radio dinner

Dr. Ray Guarendi uses humor to deliver parenting advice during a ­presentation at the fourth annual Catholic Radio Indy dinner on March 27 at the Riverwalk Banquet Center in Indianapolis. Guarendi is the co-host of the nationally syndicated show “The Doctor Is In” broadcast on Catholic radio stations from coast to coast and from 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday on Catholic Radio Indy 89.1 FM. (Photo by Sean Gallagher)

By Sean Gallagher

Dr. Ray Guarendi is a clinical psychologist in a very serious business.

Parents who experience difficulties raising their children call the father of 10 adopted children for advice when he hosts the nationally syndicated show “The Doctor Is In” broadcast on Catholic radio stations from coast to coast and from 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday on Catholic Radio Indy 89.1 FM.

While Guarendi will ultimately give some serious suggestions to his listeners, it’s usually laced with a good deal of humor.

This approach to parenting kept approximately 200 people laughing during the fourth annual Catholic Radio Indy dinner on March 27 at the Riverwalk Banquet Center in Indianapolis.

Regarding the differences between girls and boys, Guarendi said, “My daughter, Sarah, is 17. She could run the whole family. My son, John, is 18 and is still giving his brother wedgies. They’re not the same species!”

He then talked humorously about how gender differences—women tending to talk a lot, men tending to talk a lot less—are demonstrated in discipline problems that parents have at times.

“If a mom slips into a discipline trap, it’s usually something along these lines: ‘Talk, talk, nag, nag, repeat, repeat, negotiate, talk, talk, nag, nag, repeat, repeat, negotiate.’ If a dad slips into a discipline trap, it’s usually something along these lines: Tolerate, tolerate, oblivious, oblivious, ignore, ignore, kill!”

The author of such books as You’re a Better Parent than You Think and Discipline That Lasts a Lifetime, Guarendi focused his more serious remarks on the challenges that parents face today from “the experts” that he said promote “psychological correctness,” and want to make parenting more difficult and discipline a bad word.

“Discipline without love may be harsh,” he said, “but love without discipline is child abuse.”

Guarendi said that no matter how often people nowadays try to tone down or minimize the disciplining of children, it’s still going to happen. But even with this serious comment, he mixed in some humor.

“Every child or grandchild in here, I absolutely guarantee you, without qualification, is going to be disciplined,” he said. “The question is by whom? By you, Mom? If not by you, by them: a judge, a landlord, an Army sergeant, a police officer, an employer—I shudder with this next one—a wife. Somebody’s going to teach them.”

Ultimately, Guarendi said, consistent discipline given in love is a good thing for children.

“Authority is not a bad word,” he said. “Many of you have such a natural authority. …

“Little people don’t change. It’s us big people that have changed.”

After the dinner, Wendy Pottratz, the mother of six children as old as 12 and as young as 2 months, said she liked what Guarendi had to say.

“I liked how he said not to listen to the experts, but to look inside for the answers of how to raise your kids.”

Pottratz, a member of St. Luke the Evangelist Parish in Indianapolis, said keeping a sense of humor in parenting is an important thing.

“Kids are funny. And a lot of stuff you just have to take with a grain of salt,” she said. “But, still, your ‘no’ has to be ‘no’ and your ‘yes’ has to mean ‘yes.’ ” †