Christmas memories
A different kind of Christmas last year is a treasured memory
By Nancy O’Bryan (Special to The Criterion)
The O’Bryan family has many family Christmas traditions, which usually begin over Thanksgiving weekend.
With at least two children away at college during the past eight years, the four-day Thanksgiving weekend is the only time that we can take the annual creative family photograph for the Christmas card, decorate the Christmas tree, and set up the outside lights and Nativity with the plastic, lighted figures that we have owned since the 1980s.
Also, traditionally, our son, Mitchell, always brought the Christ Child to this Nativity.
Mitchell was born with cerebral palsy, and could not walk or talk. He would always carry the plastic baby Jesus to its place in the manger with help from one of his siblings, who pushed his wheelchair, or his Dad, who carried him when he was younger.
Every Christmas Eve, the traditions continued with our faith and family. We always dressed in festive garb, which some people might call tacky Christmas sweaters.
We celebrated Christmas with our extended family during the afternoon on Christmas Eve, took our family picture in front of the tree—some pictures serious and others less serious with crazy hats and expressions—then attended the 7 p.m. Christmas Eve Mass at St. Luke the Evangelist Church in Indianapolis.
This has been our tradition since the children were young. Our family is always together to celebrate the birth of our Lord, Jesus.
Last year, we did all of the usual Christmas Eve festivities—Christmas sweaters, a family dinner, the family photo in front of the Christmas tree before Mass, attended Mass, then came home and the kids watched a holiday movie together in the family room. Then we went to bed after midnight.
Christmas morning came, and we were heartbroken to discover that Mitchell had died suddenly.
Mitchell had gone to heaven during the night—a Christmas saint. In God’s loving wisdom, Mitchell had his “re-birth” day on Jesus’ birthday, a day when our family was always together.
As Father Noah Casey, the pastor of St. Luke Parish, said during his homily at Mitchell’s funeral Mass, “Jesus said to him, ‘Hey, Mitchell, you’ve been carrying me for a long time. How about me carrying you?’ And the Lord carried Mitchell into eternal life.”
The devastating loss of our beloved son brought much outpouring of prayers and support from our family, friends and faith community.
We soon learned that although we had always considered Mitchell our heart and inspiration, he was that and much more to so many people.
Mitchell taught us so much about love, patience and strength. Because of God’s guiding hand, the faith of our family, and Mitchell’s gentle strength and loving, patient spirit, we had him with us for almost 23 years.
This year, we have continued the O’Bryan traditions at Thanksgiving and plan to do so at Christmas.
We took our family Christmas photo at the median that we have adopted for Mitchell. “Mitchell’s Median” is near our neighborhood, west of Ditch Road on 86th Street. Our family project, planted with bushes, bulbs and perennials, is a living, blooming reminder of our wonderful son for all to enjoy.
We miss his crooked smile, the absolute joy he showed when our family was together, the peaceful look on his face each Sunday at Mass and his daily presence in our lives.
Christmas will be very different this year without Mitchell, but we know he is watching over all of us now and smiling at the really tacky sweaters we have chosen for this year’s Christmas season.
(Nancy O’Bryan is a member of St. Luke the Evangelist Parish in Indianapolis.) †