‘I thank God every single day’

Unwed mother who chose life shares her moving story at annual Respect Life Rally in Indianapolis

Elizabeth Jamison, center, associate director of vocations for the archdiocese, and more than 400 other pro-life supporters from parishes in central and southern Indiana brave the cold during the archdiocese’s second annual Local Solemn Observance and Respect Life March on Jan. 23 in Indianapolis to peacefully protest the 39th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the tragic Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion in the United States during all nine months of pregnancy. (Photo by Mary Ann Garber)

By Mary Ann Garber

Tears filled her eyes as Liz Carl spoke of her beautiful 4-year-old son, Braden, who was conceived during a rape when she was only 17.

Smiling through her tears, she took a deep breath and described how God helped her as a rape survivor to choose life then place her baby in an open adoption with wonderful parents.

“He is the love of my life,” the University of Louisville graduate student told nearly 900 pro-life supporters gathered on Jan. 23 at SS. Peter and Paul Cathedral in Indianapolis for the archdiocese’s second annual Local Solemn Observance of Roe v. Wade.

The pro-life Mass, march and Respect Life Rally marked the 39th anniversary of the tragic 1973 Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion during all nine months of pregnancy. (See a photo gallery from this event)

Msgr. Joseph Schaedel, pastor of St. Luke the Evangelist Parish in Indianapolis and principal celebrant, said in his homily that “Washington wants to force every employer to offer contraception and sterilization coverage in employee health plans then make all of us Americans pay for it. The Church cannot put up with this nonsense.”

During her emotional keynote speech at the rally, Carl said her first reaction to the unexpected pregnancy was shock.

“I don’t believe there are words for that moment,” she said. “It wasn’t fair. I didn’t choose this. I didn’t make a mistake, but I was having to deal with the consequences. I wanted out. It was a problem and I needed to fix it. It wasn’t a baby. It was a problem. I scheduled an abortion to murder my own child.”

Blinking back tears again, Carl said, ‘I thank God every single day” because her alarm clock never rang that morning and she missed the appointment to have an abortion.

“But it was a long road ahead,” she admitted. “I was 17 and I was pregnant out of wedlock and that wasn’t acceptable, but I had to do what I had to do.”

Her mother, Teresa, arranged for counseling at Catholic Social Services in Kentucky, where they learned about open adoptions.

“I wanted to know that my child was safe and growing up in a loving family,” Carl said. “It just seemed like a good fit for me.”

Braden was born on July 9, 2007.

“My son’s parents are great,” Carl said, smiling. “We’re honestly just one big confusing family now. I get to see him a lot. My parents are his grandparents, and they get to see him more than I do because they live closer to him.

“When I see that pretty face of his, I know that I made the right decision,” she said, her voice ragged with emotion again. “It’s hard to even think that I almost killed him. It was my first parental decision to choose an adoption, and I’ll live with that. Seeing him happy with a loving family makes it all worth it. … It was the hardest nine months of my life, but it was absolutely 100 percent worth it. My son is worth it.

“He matters,” Carl emphasized, her voice firm with resolve. “He deserves life. … He deserves to live and laugh. … Most importantly, he deserves to love. I thank God every day that I gave him that chance.”

When people hear the story of how the young man drugged her drink then raped her after a party, Carl said, they ask if her son reminds her of the rapist.

“He got his nose from his biological father and his beautiful tan skin,” she said. “One thing that I came to realize very quickly when I [first] saw him is that my rapist is not my son’s creator. Our Lord in heaven is my son’s creator, just like he created me and all of you.

“It just doesn’t make any sense to me that a woman would rather her child end up dead through a brutal murder [in abortion] than in the home of a loving family,” Carl said. “… I know that I had the greatest support system in the entire world. My parents are the greatest. … But at the same time, there are thousands of pregnancy centers in this country that will bend over backwards for girls that need help.”

Choosing life takes courage, she admitted, but “every woman on this planet is strong enough to love her child enough not to kill [her baby]. … I know that sounds harsh. … My heart goes out to all of those women that didn’t get the happy ending that I did. I get hugs and kisses and a smiling face. I had this big tragedy—something that I wouldn’t wish on anybody—but I get to watch him grow up. I’m lucky.

“It is people like you that gave me the courage to give my son life,” Carl said. “From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.”

Her parents, Tim and Teresa Carl, are members of St. Joseph Parish in Crescent Springs, Ky.

“We have been through a lot,” Tim said before the pro-life rally. “She’s very brave. … She speaks from her heart.”

“We are extremely proud of her,” Teresa said. “She’s a gift to us. She’s a gift to many people. It was a terrible experience, and she went through a very difficult journey. We all did. But through prayers, you heal. Now she’s doing something positive. She is getting her Ph.D. in counseling psychology. Her goal is to counsel at women’s crisis centers. She said, ‘Mom, there are not enough pro-life counselors.’ … And we love our grandson very much. He is a precious little boy who we adore, and he loves us.”

St. John the Evangelist parishioner Pauline Kattady of Indianapolis, a therapist and Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat counselor, spoke next about the healing experience of post-abortion reconciliation.

“Women and men who have experienced an abortion are indeed suffering and experiencing a loss, an unspoken pain, one that is forbidden to grieve,” Kattady said. “… Abortion is without a doubt a traumatic experience. … A personal interest out of one’s brokenness is placed above a human life.”

Rape victims often describe their abortions as “more traumatic and difficult to deal with than the sexual assault,” she said. “Over 90 percent of these women stated they would discourage other pregnant sexual assault victims from opting for abortion.”

Pro-life supporters are “called to be sensitive to these wounded spirits,” Kattady said, and to promote Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats, which “integrate the emotional, spiritual and psychological dimensions in the process of healing.”

Father Glenn O’Connor, pastor of St. Ann and St. Joseph parishes in Indianapolis, is one of the priests who assist with the confidential retreats.

“I’ve seen miracles happen [there],” Father O’Connor said. “… Nobody suffers abortion the same way. This retreat is a way for our Church to say ‘I love you’ in the most powerful ways you can imagine.”

U.S. Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) also spoke during the pro-life rally.

“The Bible tells us if the foundations crumble, how can the righteous stand?” Pence said. “… A nation that will not stand for life will not stand for long.

“Like all of you who braved this cold January day, I believe that ending an unborn, innocent human life is morally wrong,” he said. “I also believe that it is morally wrong to take the taxpayer dollars of millions of pro-life Hoosiers, and use it to subsidize abortion and abortion providers at home and abroad.

“ …Life is winning because of the ministry of organizations like those in the Archdiocese of Indianapolis that [help] women in crisis pregnancies,” Pence said. “Where the truth [about abortion] is being told, hearts are being changed one life at a time.” †